Two years on, and still walking

everyone is stuck in traffic

It has now been two years that I live in Lagos. The indiscriminate fears of a freshly arrived traveler have morphed into a more focused knowledge of the things I like and enjoy doing and those I would rather avoid and stay at home.

Let’s start with some of the do’s:

military vetted hairdresser (not immune to KAI)

Yo!

•         Go to Elegushi beach or Tarkwa bay to have fun on Saturday or Sunday afternoon and enjoy the swag of young Lagosians
•         The Eko hotel rooftop to chill, with a music not loud enough to drive you away or discourage you from having any sort of sensible conversation ( however the playlist is somewhat repetitive and short if I recall the number of times, in the interval of two drinks, I heard the word “pussy” which was part of the first song). But the view is awesome and the breeze fantastic.
•      The boat club (if you have a friend that can take you there) for breakfast but particularly at sunset
•     Be struck with deep short-sightedness if you feel that traffic police is about to white-glove you (the police staff is sometimes wearing white gloves and they point their hand in your direction to signal that you should stop because they need weekend money – weekday money is accepted as well)
•     If you are walking on the street and greet the guards on duty in front of their houses, they will make your walk much more enjoyable the next time you meet them as some might greet you first. You will also discover the secrets of people making a living on the streets, from the lottery, hair-dressers, food sellers
•     Pizza "prosciutto di parma" and tiramisu at PizzaRiah in Musa Yar Adua street in Victoria Island

Kuramo Waters from Eko Hotel

•     Say "no" or rather "next time" if people ask you for money, they are simply testing your willingness to give. Many a time guys would ask for money because one looks like a promising pot of money but as one starts asking about their names and begins a conversation, they may rapidly forget about the money. Some women however keep insisting that they should marry me so that I can take them to Europe regardless of what it entails. I suppose they do not mind polygamy in the first place.
•     Lekki market on a Saturday morning towards the third week of the month. Sellers are desperate to have you as their first customer of the day to bring them luck (and perhaps as a result lunch as well). Vegetables are very fresh there.
•     L’Epicerie, a French quality supermarket, if you are nostalgic or curious about French quality products. Rémi will welcome and advise you very nicely.
•     Walking over Lekki Bridge or driving over Third Mainland Bridge early morning or late afternoon to appreciate the calm of the water and the vastness of the sky

   And now about the don’t’s:

•      Drive through Awowolo road at a time of fuel scarcity: you may never get out of it. More generally, don't go driving through Lagos when traffic decides to go mad. You should rather stay put and have few drinks until traffic clears
•     Facing the Lekki toll gate at rush hour and witness the convergence of 40 lanes into 10 (or less).
•     Snapping Tafala Balewa Square (TBS) during the day on your own (not advisable if you want to keep your camera and avoid paying a settlement to area boys)
•      Panic if you get arrested by the police, except if you are white or Indian and on your own. It is always worth waiting peacefully that the police staff start getting discouraged or loosing hope of extorting any money from your pocket. Lagosians are generally impatient so even police staff might prefer a smaller dash after two hours than no dash at all because they want to leave and go home when 4PM comes around the corner
•     Be naïve and fall into the fangs of 419ers. For instance, people manage to persuade you to call and give away your cards details. Beware of fake, Igbo boys are masters at reconditioning fake products in nice genuine-looking packages.
•     Panic if people shout at you.  Please greet them back accordingly (shouting back at them will earn you their respect)

LASPARK beautification turns out to be a street beatification